An article about abuse

There are individuals out there in the world that say they love and care. Most do and lead “normal” and happy lives. But there are individuals out there that appear to blend into the world. These individuals cause havoc for their friends, families, and the world at large. These individuals are “abusers.” They can be friends, family, loved ones, and still be abusers. The abuser will say that their actions are motivated out of love. Or the abuser will say that something set them off. Or even worse, the abuser will blame those who they abuse, for nor doing what they asked.

 

     Sometimes abuse moves from one generation to another. Those who witnessed abuse can be unwittingly or willfully inaugurated into the cycle. The abuser almost breeds the new generation, who have close contact. These individuals seek love where they can, and in doing so, are taught how to abuse. Because they do not know better, they move through life using the tools of abuse. These include manipulation, talking over those who are the abused, using language against the abused. Using the abused individuals life against the abused. These individuals will even use love as a weapon. They believe they are justified to do so; through family position, or marital or relationship status.

 

      Those who have been abused survive lives of quiet desperation. Each abuse survivor attempts to blend into the world. These individuals may even appear to be happy, on the outside. Inside the abused passes on a little bit every day. They have been called crazy, worthless, mentally challenged, and worse. The abused also survives interrogations from time to time by the abused. Everyday these individuals deserve Oscar Awards © for best actor in a reality series. But suffer in silence they do. Sometimes the survivor even believes that they deserve it, but this statement is utter hogwash.

 

     The types of abuse that the abusers use are as varied as a craftsman © toolkit. Some survive verbal and mental abuse. This type of abuse leaves no outer scars or marks. It is harder to find, and less understood by the general public. Physical abuse leaves marks and signs. It shows in the large sunglasses and make up jobs that survivors use to cover up. Those who wear long sleeve shirts on the hottest of days, seek to cover those marks; so they do not have to explain to anyone what happened. There are types of abuse that go well beyond this small missive.    

 

     Friends, and family may even recognize the abuse. Their reactions range from no help to full court press assistance. Some survivors are not believed and exiled from families and friends, when they need them most. There exists help out there, but that help is uneven at best. Some mental health and physical health providers assist their clients with all that they can. Other providers are overwhelmed in their pursuit of helping all that need it.

 

    There are a number of very smart women in my life. My mom was and is tough as nails. She taught me many important lessons. I live my life in what I do. I teach women and men how to protect their own persons. But I cannot accomplish this task alone. My significant other Michelle has taught me many lessons as well. She taught me to stand my ground, when I need to do so. She reminds me every day of the good within me. Her love for me carries me through the tough times; as I hope my love for her does for her. A woman I met through work at a mind, body, and spirit center helps me refashion tools that I have, so that I may help more individuals.

 

     What is my mission in life? To help all I can be the best that they can be. I know that sounds like a slogan, but it is my life. I work very hard every day to do so, at great personal expense and trouble to help. I think it was Jigoro Kano who stated, “We cannot only learn from our own life experiences, we must learn from others.” That quote I found in Chris Crudelli’s book, “The Way of The Warrior.” We who help are warriors. We teach our students how to preserve a modicum of peace in their own lives; even though we face troubles, uncertainty, and many stresses.

 

    For those out there who have been abused, or are being abused, find someone who can help. Listen to your own heart. You may have to do the work on your own. But there is always someone out there who will listen.